Maslow’s Hierarchy of Cool Stuff I Want

  • Facebook Surges to All–Time High as it Announces Facebook Shops
  • Every day is Cyber Monday When You Can’t Go Outside
  • Mayor Lies in Coffin and Pretends to Be Dead After Breaking Lockdown to Go Drinking
  • Advice from the Markets: Invest in Precious Metals


Facebook Surges to All-Time High as it Announces Facebook Shops

Facebook shares reached an all–time high this week after the company announced that businesses will now be able to sell their crap on the platform.

Facebook announced a new feature, Facebook Shops, which allows businesses to turn their Facebook pages into digital storefronts where you can buy sweat pants and have family–ending arguments at the same time.

Shares of Facebook (FB) surged 6.4% to an all–time high of $230.75 Wednesday, as Minions toting fat sacks of cash danced in investor’s heads.

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This was the only Minions meme I could find at short notice.

In a Facebook Live session, CEO Mark Zuckerberg described Facebook Shops as a way to alleviate some of the economic pressure caused by the virus.

Though he acknowledged the new feature won’t “undo all the economic damage,as if the entire world was waiting with bated breath for Mark Zuckerberg’s stupid social media website to save us all.

The Facebook CEO said he believes Facebook Shops will have its role in society even after this whole end of the world thing is over.

“I do think we’re going to continue living more of our lives online and doing more business online,” said Zuckerberg, trying to act as if this pandemic wasn’t the best thing to happen to the drunk–photo website he made in college.

In an interview with TechCrunch, Instagram’s Vice President of Product Vishal Shah said nearly 1 million businesses have already signed up for Facebook’s Amazon With Pictures of You Completely Blasted at Last Year’s July 4th BBQ™.

Analysts at Morgan Stanley cracked out the old crystal ball and said in a note Wednesday that this could be a multibillion–dollar opportunity that makes Facebook a competitor to Amazon and Google.

It could also be just another thing Facebook half–asses in the background because it can.


Every Day is Cyber Monday When You Can’t Go Outside

Target reported that online sales on an average day in April exceeded last year’s Cyber–Monday sale, because if you’re not going to buy a Cuisinart Perfectemp 14 Cup Programmable Coffee Maker at the end of the world, when are you gunna buy one?

Target’s online sales last quarter jumped 141% from a year earlier, when things like hope and joy and women’s basketball still existed.

In February, the big box store’s online sales grew 33% from the same period. But by April, the butt had fallen out of the planet and online sales jumped 282%.

“On an average day in April, our operations were filling many more items and orders than last year’s Cyber Monday, a day for which we had planned months ahead of time,” Target CEO Brian Cornell said, doing a little jig.

“In contrast, this unprecedented surge of volume was completely unexpected at the beginning of the quarter and it ramped up from normal trends in a matter of weeks.”

Cornell said that shopping trends have shifted dramatically as the pandemic progressed. At first, folks were stocking up on essentials like food and toilet paper. But by April, people were making large purchase of electronics, kitchen wares, and video games. (This is referred to by psychologists as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Cool Stuff I Want.)

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Target has benefited by being one of the few stores that remained open during The Great Closening. Even with the threat of a global recession looming, the company’s same–store sales grew 10.8% during the quarter. But all that post–apocalyptic sales growth came at a high cost.

During the suckiest months in living memory, Target spent an additional $500 million on not–dying–related costs, including extra cleanings and hazard pay for workers. After those additional costs, Target’s profit from the quarter was down from last year.

In Other News

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Advice from the Markets: Invest in Precious Metals

Graham Summers advocates for an investing strategy based purely on technical analysis.

When the pros slip up, it’s usually because they get caught up in their own emotions and make stupid mistakes. Graham argues that the only way to avoid this is to divest yourself of your emotions, like a Jedi (but without the sister kissing and children killing).

The only way to do that is to base your trades on the numbers. And right now, all the numbers are pointing to one investment.

Take it away Graham.

The Best Investment Opportunity Right Now 

By Graham Summers 

Yesterday, I argued that the clearest opportunity in the markets today is NOT in stocks, but in precious metals.

As I have been explaining over the last week or so, the single most important issue for investors who want to see above average returns in the markets is to remove emotions and introduce discipline to their analysis.

Technical analysis is one means of doing this — using concepts such as resistance, support, trendlines, and breakouts. Using them forces you to focus on what the markets are actually doing, rather than how they make you feel.

We’ve recently covered all of these in detail in One Last Thing.

Specifically, we used these concepts to show how stocks are in fact NOT ripping higher, but are trading sideways. Indeed, looking at the below chart. It is clear stocks are still nowhere near recouping all of their losses from the March meltdown.

Chart: Stocks Are Trading Sideways

By way of contrast, gold is in a CLEAR uptrend, having recouped ALL of its March losses and then some.

Chart: Gold Is Moving Higher

And why wouldn’t it?

A Strong Case for Precious Metals

The U.S. government and the Fed are printing and spending trillions of dollars to combat the economic depression in the U.S. Indeed, it is now clear that the ONLY path forward for these entities is money printing.

While most of our analysis has centered on the U.S., it is important to note that EVERY major government/central bank is currently doing the same thing: printing and spending trillions of their currencies.

As a result of this, gold is breaking out against every major world currency: the $USD, the Yen, the Euro, and the Franc.

Chart: Gold Breaks Out Against Major Currencies

Now compare that chart to the S&P 500 priced in $USD, Euros, Yen, and Francs.

Chart: Stocks Stall Against Major Currencies

Looking at this, the clear investment right now is gold. It is in a definitive uptrend, priced in EVERY major currency.

This is why I argued that the clearest, largest opportunity in the markets today is NOT in stocks — but in precious metals. Whereas stocks are consolidating, precious metals are in CLEAR uptrends.

And this is NOT just for the U.S. This trend is clear in every major currency, making it a global phenomenon. For this reason, I would argue that if you’re looking for above average returns today, the market is telling you that the clearest trade is to be long precious metals.


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Closing Data for 5/21/20

S&P Index 500$2,944.38↓ 0.85%
NASDAQ$9,3801.12↓ 1.11%
Gold$1,725.55↓ 1.51%
Silver$14.44 3.27%
Bitcoin$9,050.00 4.99%

  • The Nasdaq reached a three–month high today.
  • Apple and Google released smartphone tech that will power contract tracing apps in at least 22 countries and some U.S. states.
  • Starbucks regained nearly two–thirds of its comparable U.S. sales from last year as stores reopened.


Shane Ormond
Editor, One Last Thing

Shane Ormond

Written By Shane Ormond

Shane Ormond is the managing editor for One Last Thing. In a previous life, he wrote and edited copy for International Living in Waterford, Ireland.