Free Articles

  • Beverly Hills Mole

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 26, 2020

    A luxury hotel chain accused Hilton’s Waldorf Beverly Hills of engaging in corporate espionage in a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles yesterday. (“Towels shaped like swans, eh? Wait until the guys at corporate hear this.”)

    An article in Investing

  • An article in Investing

  • Murder Your Thirst

    Murder Your Thirst

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 21, 2020

    A company selling water in overpriced cans adorned with heavy metal imagery has raised $9 million in Series A funding, proving that business in this century is just an exercise in repackaging the same old crapola.

    An article in Investing

  • The Tankening

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 20, 2020

    Shares of Groupon and Blue Apron tanked yesterday after their quarterly reports reignited skepticism about the companies’ “unconventional” business models. (And by “unconventional” I mean “doesn’t work.”)
    Blue apron, groupon, e-trade, morgan Stanley
    Blue apron, groupon

    An article in Investing

  • Chocolate-Covered Ants

    An article in Investing

  • Valentine’s Day Kind of Sucks Actually

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 13, 2020

    Tesla’s shares slid this morning after the EV company announced plans for a $2 billion common stock offering (just two weeks after Elon Musk said they definitely wouldn’t be doing that sort of thing).

    An article in Investing

  • Valentine’s Day Kind of Sucks Actually

    Valentine’s Day Kind of Sucks Actually

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 12, 2020

    Health measures taken to slow the spread of the coronavirus have trapped thousands of cruise ship passengers in a terrible limbo of magic shows and towels folded in the shape of a swan.

    An article in Investing

  • The Miracle on Brioche

    The Miracle on Brioche

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 11, 2020

    Sales at Popeyes restaurants surged 43% in the final three months of 2019 thanks to someone’s genius idea to put fried chicken between two pieces of bread.

    An article in Investing

  • 3D-Printed Hotels for Millennials

    3D-Printed Hotels for Millennials

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 10, 2020

    The co-founder of Uber and guy who gets into drunken arguments in ubers, Travis Kalanick, is among a group of investors funding a company building 3D printed hotels for millennials.

    An article in Investing

  • In Space, No One Can Hear You IPO

    In Space, No One Can Hear You IPO

    Shane Ormond

    by Shane Ormond
    On Feb 7, 2020

    The father of Grimes’s unborn child is planning to take SpaceX’s budding space-internet operation public, giving hungry investors another opportunity to invest in a stock that will sink every time Elon Musk goes on a podcast.

    An article in Investing