140k SS Numbers Stolen in Capital One Hack

  • Capital One Hacked, 100 Million Affected
  • Beyond Meat Stock Plummets Following Second Offering Announcement
  • Pound Approaches Lowest Point Since 1985
  • Neurocrine Biosciences Revenue Leaps 90% With 3 New Drugs in the Pipeline


140k SS Numbers Stolen in Capital One Hack

Former Amazon Employee Steals Thousands of Social Security Numbers

Capital One reported a massive data breach this morning, affecting more than 100 million customers.

But the genius LVL 9999 super-hacker who did it has already been apprehended (because they were bragging about a federal crime in a chat room).

According to a spokesperson for the bank, the hack compromised 80,000 bank account numbers, 140,000 social security numbers, as well as customers’ credit scores, payment histories, and credit limits. (They also know your favorite food and how you like your back rubbed.)

Former Amazon employee and master of subterfuge Paige A. Thompson was picked up by the feds in Seattle yesterday in connection with the crime.

Thompson worked as a systems engineer for Amazon’s cloud computing service from 2015 to 2016. Allegedly, she used that knowledge to crack the firewall of the Capital One database hosted on Amazon’s servers.

(Jeff, could you stop churning out disgruntled employees for five minutes, please? If you keep this up, Amazon will be making new Batman villains in five years.)

According to officials, Thompson was caught when a white-hat hacker (also known as an ethical hacker or king nerd) reported seeing Thompson bragging about the hack in a chatroom.


File footage of hackers fleeing the scene after doxing a GUI interface with a giffy wyrmframe.

“I Am Deeply Sorry”

Thompson likely intended to sell the data online. But the bank said she was caught before she had the chance to disseminate (not to be confused with desemenate which is what my terrible doctor called my vasectomy) the information.

“While I am grateful that the perpetrator has been caught, I am deeply sorry for what has happened,” said Richard D. Fairbank, the bank’s chairman and chief executive. “I sincerely apologize for the understandable worry this incident must be causing those affected and I am committed to making it right.”

The bank estimates that the incident will cost approximately $100 million to $150 million by the time this whole mess is resolved.

Even though they think none of the information was leaked by Thompson, they will be notifying affected individuals and offer them free credit monitoring and identity protection.

Amazon has yet to release a statement on the incident. But this isn’t a good look for Bezos’s super “secure” cloud-computing service.


Pound Approaches Lowest Point Since 1985

The British pound is approaching a historic low as the prospect of a no-deal Brexit becomes more and more likely as a Lovecraftian god of chaos is elected Prime Minister.

The pound fell as low as $1.2091 in the morning trade — the lowest since the Brexit vote when the currency crashed to $1.2065.

If it crosses that threshold, which it will if a no-deal Brexit is pursued by Boris Johnson’s government, the pound would be at its weakest since 1985 when the pound almost reached parity with the dollar.


“He-e-ey girl, are you the British economy? Because I’ve got a plan to give you a weak pound.”

Investors are pulling out of the pound in droves over fears that a no-Brexit deal would devastate the U.K. economy (and their prime minister doesn’t really seem to care, cause he’ll be a rich old toff regardless).

The pound also dropped against the euro, dipping below €1.089 in morning trading Tuesday.

Meanwhile, across the pond, our president may be planning a total “reboot” of the dollar.

According to our researchers, when the president signs this secret money deal, one particular investment could soar by as much as 1,000%, creating huge windfalls for investors positioned correctly ahead of time — and he could act as soon as today, July 30.

Click here to find out everything we know about this secret deal that we discovered at a special dinner that took place one block away from Trump Tower.


Beyond Meat Stock Plummets Following Second Offering Announcement

2019’s breakout IPO and producer of vegetables that bleed Beyond Meat (BYND) took an 11% hit in after hours trading following the announcement of a second public offering.

In its first quarterly report, Beyond quadrupled sales from this time last year, driven by rapid expansion, partnerships with big-name brands, and a glut of press coverage following an outstanding IPO. (Oh my god. Did I help create this monster? Maybe I should round up the villagers just in case?)

Beyond Meat, who wisely declined the “BM” stock ticker, reported loss of $9.4 million on revenue of $67.3 million compared to $7.4 million just $17.4 million this time last year.

 “We are very pleased with our second-quarter results which reflect continued strength across our business as evidenced by new food-service partnerships, expanded distribution in domestic retail channels, and accelerating expansion in our international markets,” said CEO Ethan Brown yesterday.

“We believe our positive momentum continues to demonstrate mainstream consumers’ growing desire for plant-based meat products both domestically and abroad.”

Since its IPO in May, Beyond shares soared more than 789% after pricing at $25 per share (like a weird meatless eagle).

The company’s quarterly results were something of a mixed bag. But later that day, Beyond announced plans to sell an additional 3.25 million shares, causing its stock to plummet 14% in the extended session.

A secondary offering allows insiders to sell their shares ahead of the expiration of the “lock-up”, which forbids the sale of those shares before a certain date.

Three million of the shares from the secondary offering will come from selling stockholders with another 250,000 shares from the company itself.

According to regulatory filings, CEO Ethan Brown is scheming to offload 39,130 shares, which would net him somewhere in the region of $8.7 million. Meanwhile, CFO Mark Nelson plans to sell 55,530 shares for a $12.3 payday. (We all need a little pocket money for the weekend.)

For now, the company is declining to comment on the offering “due to regulatory requirements.”

In Other News

British Woman ‘Marries’ Dog on Live Daytime TV

British Woman

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Neurocrine Biosciences Revenue Leaps 90% with 3 New Drugs in the Pipeline

Biotech company Neurocrine Biosciences has had an outstanding 2019, with two-quarters of steady growth. (And all its favorite TV shows have yet to be canceled.)

Revenue for the makers of Ingrezza leaped almost 90% year-over-year to $183.6 million, blasting past analysts’ prediction of $163.14 million.

And the company’s stock (NBIX) is up more than 30% this year (and rose 8% when the company released its quarterly results this morning).

This period last year, Neurocrine reported a net loss of $5.9 million. But it’s been able to turn that into a $51.3 million net income.

The vast majority of the revenue in Q2 was from Neurocrine’s drug Ingress, which was developed to treat tardive dyskinesia — a nasty side effect of antipsychotic medications used to treat schizophrenia and other mental health disorders.

Sales for Ingrezza increased 86% year-over-year to $180.5 million. But the company is wary of becoming over-dependent on a single drug for its bottom line.

In the coming year, Neurocrine has several developments in the pipeline, with three treatments awaiting FDA approval, including a treatment for the side effects of a widely used Parkinson’s drug.

Neurocrine Biosciences is definitely one to watch.

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Closing Data for 7/29/19

DIJA                   $27,221.48   ↑ 0.11%

S&P Index 500    $3,020.90      ↑ 0.74%

NASDAQ             $8,293.33     ↓ 0.44%%

Gold                   $1,426.70     ↑ 0.52%

Silver                  $16.44         ↑ 0.23%

Bitcoin               $9,507.00    ↓ 0.13%

  • Uber (UBER) lays off one-third of its marketing division, or approx. 400 workers, in an effort to turn profitable.
  • U.S. consumer spending shows smallest gain in four months, pointing to slower economic growth.
  • Education Dept. looking into a strange tactic being used by parents: transferring legal guardianship of college-bound children so they can claim financial aid.


Shane Ormond
Editor, One Last Thing

Shane Ormond

Written By Shane Ormond

Shane Ormond is the managing editor for One Last Thing. In a previous life, he wrote and edited copy for International Living in Waterford, Ireland.